In church we have been focusing on our individual and intimate relationships with Christ and whether we believe that His love is truly better than life. It’s an easy thing to say that you believe, but it’s not always as easy to truly live your life, day to day, believing and practicing that truth. The good thing is that it is true. The sad thing is I don’t think I always accept it.
I have this amazing small group. I love each person so much. We have been challenging each other to live this way and understand how to let God love us and show us this. This week we talked about how we have it so easy. All we have to do is receive these blessings from God. Our pastor talked about how we only have desires because God desires us. We only love because He loved us first. You see, He is seeking us and doing all the hard work. All we have to do is receive this, and let Him in.
Easy, right? Wrong. In order to receive these gifts from God and have this intimate relationship with Him, you have to make time and space to allow Him in. So instead of arranging my life around my full-time plus job, housework, dating my husband, planning for our little girl, small group gatherings and readings, and on and on, I should be arranging my life to focus first on God. Now just in case any of you were under the impression that I have it all together (stop laughing, maybe I had some people fooled!), I totally do not. I have no idea what I’m supposed to do day in and day out. I have no idea if I am making the best decisions for my family. I don’t know if I’m being a great, or even good, friend. And I have no idea what I should be doing a year from now or beyond.
This sermon series and my wonderful small group have made me be able to admit all of that without having the anxiety attacks I was having a couple of weeks ago that I mistook for the baby pressing up against my lungs. Isn’t it wonderful to know that none of us have it all together and that the only way to get even close to not being a complete wreck is to let God in. In the next few weeks we are going to learn more about the practical side of having this relationship with God. And I can’t wait. This week I have been waking up five minutes earlier to ask God to help me arrange my day around Him. And to thank Him that I get to wake up and ask Him to make space in my life to fit Him in. It’s about 26 ½ years overdue.