Sunday, January 15, 2012

Looking Ahead

Today I had a list of things to do, just like every day of my life. I woke up, fed Bo, made the coffee, got in the shower, and then started the planning. Grocery store, check. Church, check. Sprint to get my phone fixed so I can continue managing all my planning, check. Lunch, check. Laundry, check. Work, check. And then, go for a run.

On my run I was reviewing what still needed to be done on my list and looking down. I look down when I run. I love the route I run - it's very soothing and beautiful, but I feel like I have to look down because the sidewalk is pretty uneven and torn up in spots. I don't want to trip, so I look down.

It's efficient, and maybe necessary at times, yes. But it's boring. And like I said, the run is very beautiful and I'm missing it. I'm missing it all by looking down and planning each step. And then it hit me. You see where I'm going with this, right?

I think I'm spending a lot of time looking down, planning what should come immediately next. Making sure I don't trip. And I think I'm missing some of the big stuff. I jerked my head up today and saw that I was almost to my two mile marker. And you know what is right in front of my two mile marker? A huge, beautiful, wintery bare tree. Right on the same side of the street that I was. And I almost missed it.

And do you know what I saw on my way back? I saw the same beautiful graveyard that I have run by for years. The graveyard where my grandma and grandpa are buried. And I thought about them and how much I miss them and then I though, gosh, it's good to be alive and running. And then I saw an old man across the street walking two beautiful, big dogs. And he was smiling, and so I waved and he waved back.

Now I know this isn't truly life changing. Nothing happened. I didn't realized some great huge truth that you don't already know. And it seems like I'm making something out of nothing. But I am planning every minute of my life. I am looking down and carrying on full speed ahead, trying to make sure I don't trip or stumble or mess up before I can get to the next thing. But for the first time today I thought that maybe in all of my planning I am missing a lot of stuff. Maybe I am over-planning.

So today I decided that for this week, I will try to look up a little bit more. Baby steps.

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