Wednesday, September 19, 2012
You all know how much I love Christmas music and have already been listening for over two weeks, right? Don’t roll your eyes at me. I’m pregnant and get to do whatever I want, right? This music makes me so so happy. Well yesterday on my drive to work I heard my radio station was giving away a new Christmas CD so I definitely called, and guess what, I won! In true Christmas music dork fashion, I admitted to the DJ that I had been listening for weeks. She paused and said something to the likes of, “oh my…Well that’s wonderful…” Anyway, I won and am so excited to get my new CD in the mail. Today I was sitting at work, working away on some contracts, and Breath of Heaven by Amy Grant came on. Oh my. If this one doesn’t get to you there is something wrong. Well now that I’m pregnant it means even so much more to me. I have always loved picturing tiny Mary, scared but peaceful, thinking about her little son that God trusted her with. I know I’m not carrying God’s son, but I do know that this tiny baby girl belongs to God and He is trusting me, ME!, to take care of her and love her while she is here. Sister #1 has a sign above her kiddos’ beds that says God’s Child. It’s such a reminder to me that these children are God’s and He is lending them to us to love and cherish and raise in His name while they are here on earth. We have a 4D sonogram today to take an extra little peak at our little one. I can’t wait. But at the same time, I notice that every single day I have a tiny bit of anxiety about if she is growing and loving and healthy. I have to remind myself that God is taking care of her. There is absolutely nothing I can do to control His plan for her, and I wouldn’t want to. I think of all the things I want for her life and how much I want her to know just how much we love her already, and then I remember that it is nothing compared to God’s love for her and His plan for her. I’m so relieved to know that His plan is so much better than any I could even dream of for her. So I have been reading all of the birthing books, and David and I have been going crazy reading about different parenting methods, and in the last couple of days it really hit us that all we can do is love her and ask God what He wants us to do to help with His plan for her. And we can thank Him over and over for trusting us to watch over her. I still can’t believe that blessing. I completely understand it’s too early to be listening to Christmas music, and I understand that it’s not Jesus in my womb and I’m not Mary, but certain lyrics of this song couldn’t be more true of my feelings these days as I sit back and pray that we will be the parents that God wants us to be.
Posted by Wander and Wine at 6:53 AM